When I was going through a drawn out contested divorce, a friend of mine came to my rescue as I was on the verge of a total emotional breakdown. I remember how she walked into my office. I stood up and she walked to me. I collapsed into her arms as she held me. She whispered the words “I’ve got you” several times into my ear. My entire body responded to her words as I released the wires choking my heart. I was able to cry freely knowing that I did not have to carry myself any longer. She had…
Yet, these emotions are like tsunamis.
After the suicides of my younger sister and then two years later, my younger brother, I struggled everyday to chose to continue to live. The darkness that shrouded my world was as visible and real to me as a storm that never ends. It followed me everywhere. No matter where I went or what I did, no matter how much I tried to medicate myself into numbness or distract myself into escape, the darkness was always there. I went through years of therapy called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy to rescript my…
“The most human company wins.”
I’ve been thinking about this Mark Schaefer quote that a trusted arts leader shared with my Columbia Business School class at the beginning of the quarantine. As many arts organizations get their crystal balls out trying to calculate the financial reality of their organization and the employment security of their teams, I also recall a CI to Eye podcast interview with Carnegie Hall’s Sir Clive Gillinson. He talks about the power of asking the right question (vs. having the right answers).
Being human and aligning around the right question. These are two guiding forces that…
He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity’s sun rise. -William Blake
Simply said, “I don’t believe in forever.” Life has taught me to believe in change and investing in other people as we go through the struggle and magic of change.
Around his 9th birthday, my son, Eustace, learned about his dad’s first marriage and divorce. This was something that we never spoke about to our kids. There were a few reasons why this topic never came up. One, we didn’t want to…
It wasn’t a few months ago. This has been something that has taken 25 years in the making. With the majority of it being very quiet, internal and mixed with small wins, derailment, confusion and determination. It started with losing 2 of the closest people in my life and a battle with my belief in God.
It continued with a journey of rebuilding myself starting with moving away from home to find myself, a career and a place to call my own where I also sought expert help and therapy. It then moved to mapping out a life plan 6…
By Tahra L. Delfin
It has been 25 years since my sister died. After a five year struggle with depression and numerous attempts, she left this world. A year after her death, a family friend designed a tattoo for me, her death date in tribal art that I wore on my shoulder blade. It served as a reminder of the burden that I could not comprehend and would carry every day of my life. A year later, my younger brother also passed away. A struggle with depression and break up with a girlfriend was the straw that broke the camel’s…
“You are not my family.” I recently heard this from someone in my family directed at me and my children in a moment when we were gathering to take a family photo. While I wanted to cry and scream back, “But I am your family!”, I took time to absorb and embrace what this person was feeling when she said these words to us. I began to explore my own thoughts on family.
In my teens, I experienced the brutal and real truth that I could not choose my family. As much as I would dream about returning my parents…
Photo Credit: Gabriel Isak
Don’t get lost in the shadow of others
The world still needs you
Your role is never to be secondary but always to be true
To that inner light that whispers and guides you
Follow it and when you eventually look back
You will see others following you too
Writer’s Note: I was inspired by this artist’s images and conversations with friends about finding our purpose and losing ourselves to those we love.
Photo credit: http://www.gabrielisak.com/the-shadow-and-the-self
By Tahra L. Millan
I’ve been thinking a lot about loss and time as I watch friends care for loved ones approaching their final days. As a child, time passed so slowly at a sleepy, irritating snails pace. In adulthood, time speeds out of control dragging me behind as I struggle to maintain a firm grasp. Seeing friends near the bedside of loved ones, I see that time once again slows down giving us pause to reflect, cherish and mourn. Time is a trickster continually morphing.
Raised on a farm, I spent a lot of my childhood outdoors. Daily walks…